The Future

Aahh...~ dalam 2 3 hari ni, aku rasa down semacam je. Aku pun tak tau kenapa. Maybe sebab aku tgh berada dlm kesempitan. Yeah, I guess I'm now having such difficult time that I don't know whether I could ever manage it or not. Anyway, aku sentiasa anggap benda2 ni sebagai preparation of future. Perhaps, the most pain preparation hopefully for a better future ahead. Ckp pasal future, aku tak tahu camana la future aku kang. Impian? Harapan? Angan2? Ckp pasal angan2, mmg byk! Impian? Impian bagi aku hanyalah sesuatu yg agak mustahil, whereas angan2 bagi aku adalah permulaan kepada harapan & usaha. Harapan comes first in my life priorities list.

Bila tgk kawan2 lain dah berjaya, perasaan bercampur-aduk. Downgrade, happy, jelaous, demotivate, bersemangat, lapar, horny... entah la~!! Oh ye, sebelum terlupa. TAHNIAH buat rakan2 aku yg berjaya meng'konvo'kan diri Sabtu baru2 ni di IIUM. Seriously, aku sedih sgt. First, aku pernah janji dgn Boey, aku akan menghadirkan diri hari dia konvo. Tapi, aku tak dpt pegi sebab aku kat sini. Sorry Boey... Second, ni lah batch terakhir kwn2 seangkatan dgn aku di Gombak tu grad. We've been through every joy and pain, tapi aku yg berundur mengalah. Aku tak dapat terus berjuang bersama2 di Garden of Knowledge & Virtue itu. If I hadn't quit 5 years ago, I might end up graduating with you guys! But I chose the hard way.. and I have no regret upon it. Apa pun, TAHNIAH sekali lagi utk korang. Especially Boey, Qunut, Slam, & Sawad. You guys made it (with honour!) despite of all difficult times we had, eh? TAHNIAH jugak utk Arin, Pett, & Skun walaupun korang naik kapal lain.Still korang berjaya jgk. Aku? Entah la... the future still seems to be uncertain for me.

Kadang2, aku terfikir... what makes us happy in our life? Nice-paid job? Happy family? Sweet & romantic love? Ah... don't talk about love at the moment. We'll talk about it some other day. Money? Oh... obviously money is everything~! Org kata duit bukan segala2nya dlm hidup.But it is everything the way I see it at the moment. What makes me happy? Bagi aku, kalau aku buat satu2 kerja yg aku really enjoy doing the work... that makes me happy enough. Amal ada citer kat aku pasal adik dia Asma. Asma is so in love with her work even kalau sakit demam pun, she insists nak pegi keje. She really enjoy her work! Man... I wish I could be in her situation one day soon. As for now, I have to admit that I'm not enjoying what I've been doing for years. Aku mesti ubah sesuatu...

Next month penentu segala2nya. Next month merupakan transitional period bagi aku melakar masa depan. Masa depan in which can really2 makes me happy~! Walaupun turning point yg akan aku lakukan ini maybe akan dipandang sebelah mata... aku nak turn jugak. Aku nak pusing jugak~! Kona oii... kona~!! Kiri ke kanan? Tgk le map, bingai~!!